What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is a pattern of behaviour which causes problems and holds you back from achieving your life goals. Among the most common self-sabotaging behaviours are procrastination, laziness, excessive alcohol use, poor food choices, fast food addiction, and being too lazy to exercise. At first glance, these bad behaviours seem all too easy to fall into.

However, self-sabotage is related to anxiety, and to make themselves feel better or divert their thoughts, some people self-sabotage by binging on comfort foods, or through forms of self-harm such as cutting. Sometimes in the heat of the moment, these acts may seem helpful, but if they are ongoing they will eventually cause harm. Unfortunately, not everyone is aware that they are self-sabotaging, because they do not connect failure or negativity to the consequences of self-defeating behaviour. For example, when something flops or fails, many are heard to say: "I just knew it wouldn't work out." With this type of thought pattern, most of the plans you make may never even get off the ground.

How does self-sabotage happen?

Simply put, self-sabotage happens when you hinder yourself by getting in your own way when trying to do things. You may have some distorted beliefs that have led you to doubt your own capabilities. Experts agree that the most important aspect of dealing with unproductive behaviour is to identify where it might be coming from. Self-defeating behaviour is usually rooted in negativity, poor self-esteem, and anxiety.

How you may see yourself

Most people have goals, some big like reaching the top of your profession, and some small like sorting out your garage at home. There is always a likelihood that you may not reach all of the goals you have, but the problem does not lie in the goals you set, but more in the ways we prevent ourselves from meeting our goals when we indulge in self-sabotage.

You may have some problems in your relationship, which could be solved only if you had the mindset to broach the subject with confidence with your partner, and the belief that things could be sorted out. A happy relationship with a partner is a big part of the life you want to live.

Here are some pointers to help you get rid of sabotaging yourself.

• Don't be afraid of your thoughts. Some of your thoughts may have power over you, and affect your behaviour in a negative way.
• If only. Don't let a past "if only" attitude enter your mind, as it can result in self-sabotaging doubt in yourself, which may affect future decisions you might have to make.
• Hiding your feelings. When you hide your feelings, especially when something has upset you, the emotions build up and grow worse. Acknowledging your feelings, but without a hysterical outburst, will provide healing for your emotions and your self-esteem.
• Procrastination. Don't get into the habit of doing everything tomorrow, which can easily be done today.

These are just a few of the behaviours which may need attention and be open to change. Make changes as soon as you can, even small steps at a time count for a lot.

Breaking old habits may not be easy, but studies show it can be done.

We can help

If self-sabotage has taken a toll on your sexuality, we can help. Herbal Remedies International has taken some natural potent herbal ingredients, and developed excellent formulas to help combat issues of low libido. The products also enhance your sexual experience, and are safe to take.

Visit us at www.herbalremedies.co.za to view our range of products and the number of issues we cover.

We are here to help you!