Are sexual fantasies healthy?
Indulging in sexual fantasizing is a natural, psychological occurrence, similar to dreaming, or day-dreaming. Sometimes these fantasies may be fun and satisfying, while at other times they may be quite troublesome.
Research conducted by a psychologist in the UK revealed that almost everyone has sexual fantasies, but very few people talk about them, not even with their closest friends. Many have a guilty feeling about fantasies, and believe that it may indicate that something could be amiss with their relationships.
However sexual behaviour experts maintain that sexual fantasies are absolutely normal, and is part of a being a sexual being.
There are times when fantasies may be helpful, for example for women who might have had a mastectomy, and needs to rebuild her self-esteem – or perhaps also helpful for a man who has suffered trauma which has resulted in a measure of lost sexual desire and libido.
Some common types of sexual fantasies
A large survey conducted in Australia revealed some of the contents that folk often fantasize about. Here are details of some which were reported.
- About 50% of women interviewed reported that their imaginations ran towards sex with a celebrity. There is a belief that celebrities are very hot in the sack.
- Many men also imagine themselves making beautiful poster-girl celebrities squirm with pleasure.
- The fascinating idea of being dominated is entertained by both men and women. This may involve being held down by a partner while being kissed and loved, without actually going the whole hog to pain and humiliation. This fantasy is often played out between trusted and loving partners.
- Women seem to love the idea of dominating in the bedroom. This might be because women are expected to generally be submissive in most areas of life, as well as in relationships. The power to call the shots during sex is a very exciting thought to many women. This is also a fantasy which is a favourite to indulge in the bedroom.
- Some women may fantasize about being ravished by a sexy stranger, but one whose actions they are able to control. This presents a platform in the mind to try new and risky ideas without getting hurt.
- There have been reports of fantasies of sex with magnificent aliens who arrive in exotic locations in a spaceship. These erotic encounters with super-human beings are common to both men and women.
- Both partners may fantasize about sex in unusual places such as a motel room, the kitchen table, the lounge carpet, or even in the car. If both agree, any of these places can bring a new excitement to love-making.
These are only some of the more common fantasies folk have. You can use your imagination to come up with many more. Bear in mind though, fantasies that improve self-esteem and intimate relations with your partner, are usually the most rewarding.
Fantasies which may lead to risky behaviour
If you are confused about whether your fantasies are good or bad for you, the list below may help you to decide:
- Does the fantasy lower your self-esteem or cause shameful feelings?
- Do the fantasies create a distance between you and your partner?
- Does a particular fantasy cause distress to your partner?
- Does any fantasy result in feelings of disgust and repulsion which upset you?
- Do you fantasize about cheating on your partner, or perhaps taking part in a threesome?
These feelings, along with others, could lead to unhealthy compulsions that may be hard to overcome. Fantasies can indeed be fun, but some could harm a good relationship, and are better left alone.
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