Do you know if you are good in bed?

Some folk, both men and women, like to brag that they are good between the sheets, but is this just bravado, or is it really true? Whether you are in a relationship, or newly dating, good sex is what many people regard as vital for a happy relationship.

Sexologists have done a great deal of research into what constitutes being good in bed, and have come up with a few interesting answers.

How to be a great lover

Firstly, it is important to note that the answer does not lie in one or another sexual technique, but more in two people who feel a sense of connection to each other.

Here are some tips to help you become a great lover.

• You should always feel connected to your partner, as good sex is not only a physical experience, but is the very core of a shared, meaningful coming together.
• One of the basic qualities that can make you good in bed is an air of confidence about yourself. If you have a positive body image, it can make you feel sexy, enhance your libido, and let you become immersed in the pleasure of the sexual experience.
• Being open to change in the bedroom, will help you to be a good lover your whole life. Your body will change, your partners may change, and your sexual responses may change. By keeping an open mind to changes in your sexual encounters, you have the possibility of always being a dynamic lover.
• Listen to your partner, be attentive and unselfish, and as sex is a shared experience, partners need to pay attention to each other’s needs. This means putting good communication at the top of the list, or it will not work.
• Don’t rush things. Life in general is one mad rush, and the more you calmly pay attention to detail, the better life results will be. It is exactly the same with sex. The more detail you pay to each other’s needs instead of rushing around without any direction, the more satisfactory the end-result will be.
• A good balance between spontaneity and planned sex is important, and so is both being the initiator of lovemaking, instead of always leaving it all to one partner, also works well. Saying yes more often than saying no gives off good vibes.
• Sex is adult and couples recreation – and if you are trying to fall pregnant it becomes procreation as well. Whatever the reason, sex is every couple’s time to get close with each other, and enjoy each other. You don’t have to be serious all the time. In fact, if you are enjoying each other, find ways to express this enjoyment. Have a little fun!
• Stay in the present when making love. Don’t allow you mind to wander off to the office, what to make for dinner tomorrow, or the football game you are planning to watch. Your partner may sense that you have drifted away, and it may sabotage the moment.
• Don’t go through the motions or fake it if you do not feel like sex. Rather communicate with your partner and make a plan for another time, when you are both in the mood. If you are in a loving, close relationship your partner will understand.

There are many people who are really unhappy and really not enjoying sex. But if the lines of communication are kept open, this need not be a bridge too far, and with understanding on both sides – can be overcome.

We can help!

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