A must tell!
If you have been diagnosed with HSV-2, or genital herpes, and are perhaps starting a new relationship, or maybe already in a relationship, telling your partner about your status, is something you absolutely need to do. If you don’t, and it comes out at a later stage when he or she is infected, the recriminations and subsequent results to your relationship might be devastating at best.
Coming clean about the genital herpes may be embarrassing, but if you have the right attitude and are taking steps to deal with the problem, it will definitely help and be reassuring for your partner as well.
Choosing the right time, and saying the right things in a good way, can always lead to the chance that things will work out satisfactorily.
Take it slow!
If you have only started dating, wait until you can see whether the relationship is going anywhere, before you make any confessions about your status. In the meantime, if the relationship becomes sexually active, be sure, whether you are male or female, to insist on making use of a condom before any penetration takes place.
However, if it seems that the relationship might develop into the real thing, make plans to impart the news of your herpes status in the best possible way.
Here are some helpful ways for you to tell your story.
- Make certain that you discuss the matter before there is any sexual contact, or it might appear that you really wanted to hide something.
- A good way to start the conversation might be to say that you have tested positive for HSV-2, which is genital herpes. Never say you have a disease – herpes is NOT a disease.
- Learn as much as you can about genital herpes, so that you can answer any questions which your partner may ask.
- Avoid saying anything negative like “Please don’t panic” or “Don’t freak out…” This could in any case lead to panic that what may be coming next is something like you being HIV positive.
- Choose the right setting before you speak, which ideally should be away from other people, and any possible interruptions.
- Don’t bring up the subject just after you have had sex. This would be the worst possible time and may create a major disastrous reaction.
- Be prepared to answer questions, and let you partner know at the outset that if there is no active outbreak, the rate of transmission is very low.
Some positive points you can make
- HSV-2, genital herpes, is not life-threatening and nor does it affect fertility.
- By avoiding sex during outbreaks of blisters and taking precautions like using a condom, there is only a small chance of picking up the virus.
- With daily use, virus-suppressing drugs which you can get from your doctor help to reduce outbreaks and lower transmission levels.
- If you are not adversely affected by your diagnosis, and are comfortable within yourself, be sure to mention it.
- Herpes does not affect fertility in the male or female reproductive system.
What is the worst that could happen?
People will always react in different ways, possibly depending on the degree and depth of your relationship. Some folk may want to take some time to consider the whole situation.
There is no guarantee that your status will be accepted, even by someone who has deep feelings for you. Although you will be respected for being honest upfront, the object of your affection could ultimately decide against further developments in your relationship.
Of course, there are those who will not be too concerned, provided that you take adequate precautions.
The best that can happen!
You may be fortunate enough to have a partner who loves you enough to commit to a serious relationship, and not allow a herpes issue to spoil the rest of your lives. Together you could work out a plan to take adequate precautions, and possibly make some lifestyle changes, to keep your sexual relations intact.
This would be the ultimate good result to set you off on a lifetime of mutual trust and happiness!
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