Sex means different things to different people

To some people, sex is the ultimate expression of love and intimacy. To others it might be a tension reliever, trying to fall pregnant, or just having fun and a good time with no strings attached. Studies have shown that it can all of these – and probably much more.

However, research has also shown that women are more expressive about their emotions, and are sometimes at the mercy of roller-coaster feelings which can be confusing. It appears that men are far more in control of their emotions when it comes to sexual encounters.

There are certain zones in sexual relations

The zone you may fall into can help you decide whether you are actually just into having sex, or much more into making romantic love. Here are some various zones in the sexual area:

  • Some people require emotional attraction to experience physical attraction, well before any sex takes place.
  • You could be looking for intimacy and your feelings are more in the emotional-connection- first zone before physical arousal can happen.
  • Other folks are drawn together like magnets, and the strong physical attraction can often lead to powerful emotional attraction.
  • Because humans are such complicated creatures, strong feelings may blur and come as a disappointment between two people. For example, you may be emotionally attracted to someone without having even the slightest sexual urge. Or you may have a strong physical desire for someone who does not do it for you emotionally – and you need both for a happy relationship.
  • When the chemistry between people is just right, getting physical can lead to so much more. You could end up being in the magic zone of making romantic love with emotional and physical elements present.

However, no matter what your gender, and whether you openly express your feelings or not, your emotional response to sex will always be uniquely yours.

Sex, emotional, and brain response

Research has suggested that these 3 are all linked to the hormonal system, which means that certain feelings are common during, or immediately after sex, no matter what zone you might find yourself in.

Some positive emotions:

  • High euphoric feelings.
  • Total release of tensions.
  • Feelings of satisfaction, calm and relaxation.

Depending on the circumstances of the sexual encounter, you might experience some less – positive emotions:

  • Vulnerability and lack of confidence.
  • Embarrassment due to a poor body image.
  • Lack of desire because of unresolved sexual trauma incidents.
  • A feeling of being totally and physically overwhelmed.
  • After sex blues, causing sadness and tears.

Note that nobody experiences every emotion every single time.

Make sure you know what you want

  • If you are keen to separate sex and emotions, make sure that you are open with the other person. Agree on safe sex practices, and let your partner know how far you are prepared to go physically and emotionally.
  • If you would prefer to deepen the connection between sex and emotions, let the other person know. If you are both happy with the situation, pay enough attention to the physical side, and don’t allow intimacy to become something you do when you have the time.

Keep in mind that emotions can be unpredictable at times, so stay alert for feelings that may crop up which could threaten to sabotage your relationship.

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April 05, 2022 — Colin Katz