Anger can damage your sexual desire

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions that can be easily triggered, and often arrives uninvited and unexpected. Evidence of angry feelings and reactions are usually perceived as being negative emotions, whereas anger needs to felt and acknowledged, as well as understood that it could be a potential for positive change in certain situations.

When it comes to partners, accumulated unexpressed anger, hurt, disappointment and resentment, can destroy the closeness of a relationship between partners. These pent-up feelings can easily decrease sexual desire of one or both partners.

Women may have difficulty with arousal, while the same frustrations may cause a man to struggle getting and maintaining an erection.

The difference between being hot and angry, and being hot and loving in the bedroom, may be a vast chasm too difficult for one, or both partners, to bridge.

The way negative emotions may ruin your sex life

  • Pent-up anger and resentment is bad enough, but when trust has broken down, it will be extremely destructive to the injured party’s ability to enjoy sex. In addition one member of the couple could resort to vicious criticism in order to wound the other.
  • Some folk may withhold sex as a form of punishment in an angry situation where he or she might feel otherwise powerless.
  • Some couples who are angry with each other may have a highly-charged fiery fight, followed by passionate love-making. However, this does not get to the root of the angry feelings, which may recur until there is a serious rift in the relationship that no amount of love-making will heal.
  • Very often, there is a cooling-down of what in the past had been good sex vibes. Angry feelings about various issues could be the cause, but neither partner will admit they are actually angry about anything.
  • Sex between couples sometimes blows hot and cold, but this is normal. If there is no good reason like erectile dysfunction or low libido hassles, it may be time to ask yourself, or your partner, if hidden anger could be the cause of continued sexual coldness.

Some of the ways people deal with anger

Research has shown that anger greatly reduces sexual desire in both men and women. Studies also revealed that women are more vulnerable to negative sexual responses when angry, than men are. This may imply that women need a stable relationship with minimum conflict to have a satisfactory sexual response.

Here are ways which folk in relationships may deal with anger:

  • Some sulk and are not interested in sex until they get over angry feelings.
  • Others may start an argument to put some distance between them and the offending partner.
  • Many opt to suppress anger by pretending that it does not exist, allowing it to boil over into seething resentment, which damages a relationship sometimes beyond repair.
  • Some partners also repress angry feelings by withdrawing into themselves, and if asked if anything is wrong, may simply reply “Nothing is wrong. I am tired and just want to go to bed – ALONE!”
  • There are also those who will express their anger by having a mighty blow-up, full of accusations and derogatory remarks.

Any of these responses to angry feelings have the potential to wreck the closeness you once felt in your relationship. The best way to deal with your anger is to bring it out into the open and communicate with your partner, which is a good way to revive the sexual satisfaction you both enjoyed.

Relieving the resentment

  • Anger is a normal reaction to any perceived insult or threat.
  • Agree with your partner to reduce frustrations so that they are not held in until they explode into a major battle.
  • Realise that better communication and more consideration in your relationship will bring you emotionally closer, and add to a more satisfactory sex life.

Dealing with your anger will definitely improve your sexual enjoyment.

We can help

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