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Can your marriage withstand menopause?

by | Apr 20, 2020 | Articles, Menopause

Can your marriage withstand menopause?

20th Apr 2020| by Colin Katz
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Many facets to menopause

 Many women do not know what to expect when menopause starts, and because of this husbands and partners know even less. A large number of women think menopause is not much more than the end of monthly periods, and the onset of hot flushes – but it is very much more than that. As a woman approaches menopause, normality is captured by fluctuating hormonal levels leading to unusual mood-swings, and other unfamiliar symptoms.

All the changes can lead to confusion about what to do keep your husband and yourself on an even keel. However, there are some things in this chaotic emotional time which are harder for men to understand, especially when it comes to sexual matters.

Women may be running away from marriage

Studies by the American Association of Retired People have indicated that currently over 60% of midlife divorces are initiated by women in their 40s, 50s, or 60s. These are typically the menopause years, and many of the women blamed a lack of communication and a lack of understanding by their husbands of all the changes they are going through.

During menopause, many women have to cope with issues such as bodily changes, lifestyle changes, health issues, low self-esteem, and often feeling hopeless and guilty about a lack of sexual desire.

If it all just becomes too much, and a woman feels as if she is getting no support from her husband, she may begin to believe that leaving the marriage is her only means of salvation.

How a husband can help

To help keep the peace at home, and help your marriage survive menopause, here are some tips.

  • Try and communicate with each other so that you can better understand what she is going through. At the same time, she may also get an inkling of what you are feeling.
  • Be flexible when it comes to mood swings, even if you cannot see why it is happening.
  • Give her a shoulder to cry on if she is feeling sad.
  • Remember the hot flushes – she may want the aircon turned up when it is already ice cold.
  • Many women feel unattractive during menopause especially due to unexpected weight gain. Help improve her self-image by telling her she still looks great.
  • Be patient in the bedroom. A drop in estrogen levels can affect desire, and also dry out the tissues in the vagina, making sex painful.
  • Never press the sex issue, but suggest a visit to the doctor to see what can be done about painful sex and other issues.

The good news is that menopause does not last forever, and there are hormonal interventions which can make things easier.

How a wife can help

  • The most important thing a wife can do is to accept that menopause happens, accompanied by all the out-of-tune bells and whistles. Sometimes a husband might just seem to be in the way, but remember that menopause is not his fault – it was not invented by a husband!
  • Encourage and initiation communication, be open to visiting the doctor, and be open to suggested medical interventions such as hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) which has the potential to ease menopausal symptoms, including the restoration of sexual desire which will help restore a crumbling relationship.
  • Keep your husband’s well-being in your heart at all times.

We can help

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Visit us at www.herbalremedies.co.za to view our range of excellent products – and see how we can help you!

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